Darling Clementine
by enchantz
Summary: This is what I thought really happened after Rhett left Scarlett.


I own nothing, all the characters were created by Margaret Mitchell and not me.

I am not a writer, this will be very short, it is what I always imagined would happen when Scarlett arrived home to Tara. For all of you writers, I am very impressed with all the stories I have read here so far and I really appreciate the time and effort, not to mention the talent you put in with your work. I am not too sure about the name of this piece, but I will leave it unless I come up with a better one.

**Darling Clementine**

Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler looked up at the emerald silk ruffles atop her canopy bed and yawned. She put her arms above her thick black mass of hair and stretched, trying to release the knots she developed in her muscles from the train ride, and willed herself out of bed. She had already been awake for more than half and hour and felt no desire to get up. Not even the delicious scent of hot coffee mixed with biscuits dripping with thick maple syrup were enough to tempt her down to breakfast. The morning air was cold, and she wrapped the blanket closer around her shoulders, trying to keep warm. She sighed loudly and listened to the cows mooing in the fields beyond the house. There were noises coming from the kitchen, sounds of life around the plantation, and she knew she would soon have to call Prissy to give her a bath.

Home, she was finally home. But she knew she couldn't stay much longer in bed. She looked again at the letter she had received from Savannah. Suellen had handed it to her when she arrived yesterday. She had already made her decision about the contents of the letter. It wouldn't be so hard to convince Mammy this time. Mammy had spent much of her youth in Savannah, and Scarlett just knew that Mammy would love a trip where she could see her "fust real home" again.

Scarlett buried her face in her pillow, trying to blot out the past weeks. Rhett had dutifully gone to Melly's funeral with her, and almost as fast as quicksand, he disappeared, his black cloak disappearing out the front door. So much for him sticking around for appearances. She knew he was not with that Watling creature. She took slight comfort in that. Just the morning of the day she left, the Georgia Public Health Committee sent their representatives to Belle's filthy little establishment and demanded that she close the place down, amidst a formal investigation. Investigation of a few of her girls who were stricken with an unmentionable ailment, the kind their "victims" could only get with "close and intimate relations." Poor old Dr Meade was up to his eyeballs in this degrading saga, one that he turned beet red when discussing with his wife, the soap opera that had been building for a long time, as "proper gentlemen" several pillars of society, left the place with an "itch" in their breeches that would not go away even with continuous scratching. Respectable persons spoke about this most disrespectful, hideous matter, none of them saying the actual words or medical terms, but all indulged in rehashing the sordid, filthy affair. And so soon after Melly's death. Melanie Wilkes not even cold in her grave, and all the kindness and decency had been forgotten as Atlanta rained on Belle's carnal, lustful and wicked parade. Meanwhile, Scarlett had somewhat managed to redeem herself by organizing Melanie's funeral, giving her a sendoff that was tasteful and well suited to the frail young woman who had become a true sister to her.

There was a delicious scandal in the works, but not even the gleeful memory of seeing Belle reduced to tears and screaming "**But I run a respectable whorehouse**!" while the good citizens of Atlanta were aiming to throw stones at her could keep Scarlett in town. She had no desire to join in shaming Belle more than she already was. She remembered all too well what it was like to be at the target of Atlanta's wrath, although her own sins did not come close to what Belle was guilty of. Scarlett knew that if Rhett was around that he would likely be with that horrid woman, standing by her side, trying to get her back on her feet. She felt nauseous at the thought that Belle had comforted her husband when she had been too indulged in her own wretched fantasy of Ashley Wilkes to give him a second thought. But he was no where around, and there was much talk of Belle selling the saloon and moving to New York City. She had seen Belle's old darky driver at the train station that morning, trying to get tickets out of the city, while the downtrodden madam hid in her carriage beneath a veil of black. Scarlett would know those bright red curls anywhere. She thought of the irony of the situation. Here she was leaving Atlanta on the same day her husband's mistresses was escaping from it. They wanted to burn Belle at the stake, shame, tar and feather her, and the gossip about Scarlett's "unsuitable indiscretion" had been forgotten. Both of them were seeking refuge elsewhere and the man they both loved was no where around. It occurred to her that if Rhett was in town, he would certainly be holding Belle's hand and not hers. The thoughts of joining the rest of the lynch mob with shouts of "Crucify her!" did not appeal to Scarlett. After flashing her dimples at the ticket salesman, she found out that Rhett had indeed bought a one way ticket to Charleston. She figured he had gone there. "Well, I'll just have to go after him she thought. He won't be able to resist me, especially with the new baby blue silk corset and the sheer Valenciennes nighties I just bought!"

She could still taste the salt from the river of shed tears that she had been bathing in the past week. After the funeral, and his ice cold departure, she had taken to her room, tail between her legs, clutching Rhett's pillow, accompanied by one of his silk shirts and crawled into her bed. After two weeks of hoping to hear him climbing up the stairs, she decided that the silence in the house was too much for her to bear. The children and Prissy were already at Tara and even the sounds of their high pitched voices that would irritate her at times would be welcome in her present state of loneliness and despair.

Her journey had only just begun. Tomorrow had come after yesterday's traveling, yesterday's harsh realities, harsh truths and the lecture of a lifetime. Sleep had not come easy, if at all, especially after the tongue lashing she had been subjected to last night. Never in her life had she felt so guilty, not even when that sourpuss India Wilkes accused her of indecency with Ashley. "Hmmmmm!, as if I would ever let him seduce me at that dusty, grimy mill office!" she exclaimed to herself, conveniently forgetting that this is what she had been foolishly fantasizing about for several years. "Ohhh, Ashley" she sighed. The thought of his greying blonde head and sad grey eyes filled her with nothing but remorse. Remorse and dread. Remorse for what she had done, dread for the feeling that she would not be able to so easily complete the task at hand. It was going to be harder than she had thought.

She thought back to the previous day. After a delayed and very late train to Jonesboro, she had finally arrived to find Will Benteen, patient as Job, sitting in the rickety wagon chewing on a piece of straw. "Afternoon' Scarlett" he said while she gave him an awkward peck on the cheek. He held her kidskin gloved hand and helped her into her seat after placing her very fine leather trunks in the back of the wagon. "Looks like you'll be spendin' a whole year, with all that baggage."

Scarlett wanted to giggle at the slight blush she saw on his sun beaten face. She instinctively batted her eyelashes at him. Inwardly she laughed at her actions. "Good Lord, have I really sunk so low that a blush from a man like Will Benteen turns me into a silly flirt?" Old habits sure died hard. She gleefully thought of the look of jealousy she knew her sister would have at the thought of her husband blushing at a harmless kiss from his very pretty sister in law. A flash of her mother's face went through her mind as the wind threatened to carry her black lace parasol away from her. Feeling a bit guilty about the thought of once again antagonizing Suellen, she decided that the new beaded kidskin Louis heeled slippers packed delicately in her trunk were more than enough to keep her conscience clear.

"The two of us must be quite the sight!" she thought as she gave Will a glance. Here she was with her new black chantilly lace gown ordered directly from Paris, her black curls slipping from under her bonnet that set of her heart shaped face to perfection, while Will was clad in a simple pair of tan breeches with a thick woolen jacket that was adequate in keeping out the cool Autumn breeze. A weathered hat sat at the top of his head and she knew it had seen better days. She looked down and cringed at the muddy boots on his feet. It's not that she didn't like her brother in law. In fact, she was actually quite fond of him. He was patient, hard working, calm, good natured, and did more for Tara than she could ever thank him enough for. But he wasn't a gentleman. He wasn't of her class, their class. She never forgot the shame and indignation she felt when Grandma Fontaine described Will as a cracker. As much as her sister annoyed her, she couldn't help the new found feelings of guilt whenever she thought of her sister's abrupt and necessary marriage to Will. Sue should have been married to Frank Kennedy. At least he was a gentleman, even though a boring, rigid, old maidish one. The fact that she was able to feel guilt at stealing Frank from her sister was a brand new experience for her. If she had to do it over, she would still choose to marry him; she would have married General Sherman himself if he would give her the $300 in tax money. But at least now she understood some of the despair her sister must have gone through, now that she knew what it was really like to not have the man she loved by her side. "But did Sue really love Frank?" she thought to herself. "Ha! Sue would have been bored to tears with old whisker face, just as much as I was."

"But I bet she would have made him a better wife", a little voice crept into her head. "And he would probably still be alive."

The wagon dove into a pot hole causing her luggage to bump from side to side. "Will, did you ever think about my suggestion?" she said, trying to change the subject rattling in her mind.

"Which one is that Scarlett? You do have a lot of them."

"Oh you know, that maybe you can use some of the money I've been sending to buy something nicer than this? Maybe a buggy with fine wheels, a cushioned seat and brand new springs so as to make riding a bit more comfortable?"

"Ain't nothing wrong with this one Scarlett, besides, this one holds a lot more than any fancy new buggy can. I told the same think to Sue when she suggested we go to Jonesboro to look at the new carriages they are making now."

Scarlett bit her lip before she could answer. Trust Suellen to demand a fancy new carriage, she smirked, almost forgetting that she was the one who had just brought up the idea to Will. She knew that her sister would love nothing more than to use her, or perhaps she should say, Rhett's generous donations to try to bring up her girls as ladies. She knew that Suellen, who was always so prim and proper could not be entirely happy with the fact that her children did not have private music lessons and were educated in the one room schoolhouse run by one of the ignorant Tarleton girls. But Will Benteen was a very proud man and saw no reason why his girls should waste their time with lace and frills like rich city folk, no offense to Sacrlett of course.

"Besides, Will continued. We're going to have a new mouth to feed come next year. The more we can save up the better."

"Oh Will, is she having another one?"

"Yes" he said, with a shy smile on his face. He then broke into a conversation about the crop of sweet potatoes at Tara and for once in her life, Scarlett did not give a damn about the money it would bring.

A painful clasp of jealousy gripped her heart. "Let the potatoes all rot, see if I care", she thought, bored with the conversation, but at the same time grateful that Will didn't see the look of envy on her face. Suellen was having another baby! Another one! And maybe a boy this time! But that's not fair!, she thought. I'm the one who should be having a baby! Rhett's baby. Not even the first glimpse of her beloved Tara from over the slope could keep the thoughts of her pregnant sister from her mind. "It should be me having a baby, not her!" She wrinkled her brow, sadly thinking of the baby she had lost. "It's my own stupid fault", she thought. "If only I had controlled my temper, I would never have fallen down those stairs and I would be holding our baby right now."

The thought of conceiving another child was impossible with Rhett hundreds of miles away from her. "And who is to say he would be willing anyway?", she thought with dismay. Even the sight of her in her new next to nothing nightgowns might not be enough to tempt him out of the frosty manner he had been treating her. And he might even laugh at her, risking pneumonia by wearing provocative fabrics to try to seduce him. She blushed at the thought of their last encounter, the night her poor dead baby had been conceived. He had been like an animal that night, as she was ashamed to admit that while she was afraid at first, she had very much enjoyed the experience. Whatever he was doing, the positions he had put her in, he was doing it well and she experienced sensations she did not know existed. She wanted more, she wanted to feel them again, whatever they were, but she could not bring herself to ask for them.

"Scarlett?"

"Hmmmmmmm? She mumbled, embarrassed at having these wicked thoughts out here in the middle of the road, and sitting besides Will of all people, "What did you say?"

I was sayin, "You know, I'm really sorry about Miss Melanie, especially so soon after your Bonnie."

She stared blankly at him. "Thanks Will", her voice beginning to crack as the entered the driveway of the house. The front door opened and Suellen's three girls, Susie, Katie and Caroline ran out followed by Wade and Ella. Susie and Ella were only a year apart and Scarlett marveled at how well the two children played with each other. Ella was happy to have a younger cousin to boss around, while Susie never grew tired of hearing about Ella's life in Atlanta. The children rushed to the wagon, three little girls giving her hugs, looking to see what she had brought for them.

"Manners girls, manners" said Will. Wade and Ella lingered behind, their faces in half smiles, as always, hesitantly waiting to see what kind of mood their mother was in before they dared to approach her. Scarlett had to admit that she did somewhat miss the children, and she embraced them, trying to ignore the fact that they looked as dirty and unkept as Suellen's girls. But she was quick to remember her own childhood at Tara, where there was always a mud-pie to make, a frog in the pond to chase, or a tree to climb and at the end of the day, Mammy to put her and her sisters in the warm bathtub, to wash the acquired grime away.

"Oh Mammy" she thought. She remembered Mammy's tired old face disappearing on the train right after Bonnie's funeral. "Ah's gwine home. My wuk is done" Mammy had said, a look of hopelessness in her large brown eyes.

She entered the house, Wade and Will helping her with her luggage. The lemon verbena scent that had lingered through the air like a timeless ghost had been extinguished by Suellen's preference for lavender water and sachets.

Suellen entered, grimaced, then forced a smile that was even less enthusiastic than her children's had been. "You'd better smile or you won't get those slippers", Scarlett thought, as she gave her sister a forced hug. To her relief, her sister wasn't showing yet and therefore she would not constantly have to be reminded of her most enviable situation. "At least her girls are happy to see me, she thought, and Mammy will be too!"

"Where's Mammy Sue?"

As if on cue, their old black nursemaid waddled in, and Scarlett lit up at the sight of her. She ran to her, threw her arms around her, only to see that Mammy did not return her embrace as warmly as she was used to. Oh well, there was plenty of time for Mammy to coddle her later and help patch up her wounds.

"Why Mammy, is that a new dress?"

"Yes um, it is. Mr Rhett done sent it here for me.. He say becuz Ah tooks such good care of Miss Bonnie, for all her short life."

"Ohhh Mammy darling" ,she cooed "I brought you a present too!"

"Hmmmmppphhh!" Mammy grunted, her hands on her hips, gazing at Scarlett as if she had caught her with her hand in the jello.

"Dat's a lace dress, Ah can see all da cream silk undaneath. You's suppose to be in full black!"

"Mammy?" Scarlet said, ignoring her reprimand. "Will you help me unpack later?"

Hmmmmmmppphhh!

"Oh dear", Scarlett thought. This was going to be a bit harder than she thought. There was no mistake about what kind of mood Mammy was in when she grunted out her replies instead of answering with sensible words.

After handing out presents, the family sat down to dinner. There were new dresses and dolls for all the girls, the slippers for Sue, a copy of Great Expectations for Wade, a new pipe and tobacco for Will, peppermint bon bons and Lilac talc for Mammy, and even a new silk scarf for that silly Prissy. The mood at the table at first was awkward, no one wanted to bring up Melanie's or Bonnie's death and no one dared bring up the fact that Scarlett made no mention of her husband. Conversation revolved around the happenings at Clayton county, country gossip that Scarlett found quaint, but somewhat soothing after the hustle and bustle of Atlanta. "And you know, Cathleen Calvert is back in Georgia, she rid herself of that dirty Yankee husband of hers. They say he used to beat her!"

God's nightgown! Scarlett thought. "Don't tell me she's divorced!"

"No, but she is not living with him. She moved back into their old house. They managed to patch the place up and make it decent again. And good riddance too. She's managed to get out from under the thumb of that mean old Yankee.

"Dey say he gwine ta Pennsylvainny and he has a bastid child and a mistress," Mammy chimed in, briefly forgetting the children at the table and breaking her rule of "not talking bout white folkses bizniss." Wade's growing ears perked up at the naughty word "bastid" while Ella and the girls were too innocent to realize it was naughty in the first place.

Miss Cathleen's "huzband" was a "good for nuffin Yankee" and not part of good white folkses therefore Mammy was entitled to badmouth him as she pleased. "I member dat Miss Catleen. You an her was allus up to mischief, specally mischief with boys!"

The thought of her old friend's marital woes reminded Scarlett of her own delicate situation, and she felt sympathy for Cathleen. She had fond memories of the two of them daring each other to try to kiss the country boys, helping themselves to her Yankee stepmother's fine imported wine with Stuart and Brent Tarleton, and unashamedly and most selfishly gathering all the beaux, much to the despair of all the other girls around them. She smiled when remembered the day at Twelve Oaks when Cathleen daringly told her a tale about the tall dark and handsome visitor from Charleston, the one who went out riding with that girl in the buggy, most scandalously refused to marry her and then got into that notorious duel.

"Mama, where's Uncle Rhett?" Ella asked, while Wade gave her a dirty look. "He's on a business trip Ella," Scarlett lied, even though the adults at the table were fully aware that the only business that Rhett Butler dealt with these days was where his next drink was coming from.

Mammy sat at the table, shooting glances at Scarlett. "Ma wuk is done", Scarlett couldn't stop playing the words in her mind, over and over. Mammy had seemed so defeated when she had left Atlanta, Scarlett hoped that the brief stay at Tara would give Mammy the chance she needed to recuperate, to give enough energy to help her in her quest. They had all been broken by Bonnie's death, but at the time Scarlett had been too self centered to realize that Mammy had lost a child too. Mammy was the one who took care of Bonnie, when she wasn't with Rhett, just like she had when Scarlett was a little girl. She smiled at the thought of Rhett going to the seamstress and having a large dress ordered that would fit around the girth of Mammy's barrel shaped body.

Mammy had gained enough respect to sit at the table and eat with her "white folkses" and despite her vehement protests, they would not have it any other way. Scarlett couldn't wait to get Mammy alone so that she could bury her sorrows and so that she could enlist Mammy's help with a plan in getting Rhett back.

This plan was brewing in her head, it was in the works as soon as she found out he was in Charleston. She was going to go there, take Mammy and the children with her, and use them as a sort of buffer between herself and Rhett. Rhett would not dare, he could not send her packing, not if she had the children with her. And Mammy could help her soften him up and make him listen.

After her warm soak in the tub, Scarlett sat down in her bed, brushing her hair as Mammy sauntered into her room.

"Mammy darling" , she began. "It's so good to be home, I missed you so."

"Where's Mist Rhett? Mammy peered at her, her mouth in a tight line.

"In Charleston." she answered. "I'm going to see him soon, maybe next week, and I want to you pack because you're coming with me.'

She gave Mammy her purest, sweetest smile, widening her green eyes with a look of pure innocence.

"Hhhmmpphhh! Doan you try to sweet talk me, and stop tryin to act all innocent with me, Ah knows whats yous up to an it aint gwine wuk."

"But Mammy, what ever do you mean?" her lower lip threatening to turn into a pout.

"Gimme dat brush, lemme brush yo hair."

'He done left you didn he?"

"He umm," she tried to think of a lie, but none would come.

"He just needs to cool off for a bit, that's all. We'll take Wade and Ella, and Prissy too."

"Cool off? Mr Rhett aint da one wif da bad temper. And from what Ah's seen, he aint been nuffin but cool towurds you fo all da things you gone done."

Scarlett scowled as Mammy roughly brushed out a tangle in her silken locks.

"Ah done tols myself ah would keep out of dis here mess. Dis between you an Mist Rhett. But Miss Melly gone, and as much as she tried, de Lord bless her soul, she warnt able to talk some good sense to you. Miss Melly was too gentle to put chu in yo place! But Ah aint gentle like Miss Melly. Ahs only gwine say dis once. And afta dat,"Ah ain't sayin nuffin. Miss Scarlett, you did dat man bad, you done him reel bad. You ain't never showed dat man any kindness, any hint at wanting to make yo marrige wuk, not even for Miss Bonnie. All you eva did was spend his money to buy dresses so dat you could look purtee for Mist Ashley. Uh huh. Flaunting yo bossoms for Mist Ashley, batting your eyelashes, don think Ah didn' see you!.

"How dare you!"

"Don you be denying it Missy! Ah was dere and Ah was watchin you lak a hawk. Ah was watchin you reel good. You hurt Mr Rhett, you throw him out of your baid and den you tell him you ain't want his chillun. You hurt his pride, you bruise his ego and you ain't never try to make up for it. Even afta you tell him all a dat, he still stay with you. And what did you do to repay him? Hmmmmmmm? Any other man woulda pack up his chile and ban voyage. Any udder man woulda cut off yo money and den you wouldn have nuffin. Alls you woulda have was yo store, and ain't no man gwine wants a lady who is wuking in a store and dealing with dem nasty Yankees. Only Mista Rhett would a put up with dat!

"Well Mammy darling, don't you see? That why I want to go straight to Charleston. You know he will be happy to see you and the children. He has a lot of respect for you mammy", she smiled, hoping her dimples would soften the old woman's countenance.

"Oh no Ah ain't. You ain gwine use me in yo sly skemes. You gwinna give dat man his time. Time to heal hisself from all da bad dat happen to him,.Member Miss Scarlett, dat Ah is free. And you cain make me go nowheres Ah don' wanna go. If Ah goes anywhere with you, it's becuzz Ah wants to and becazz it's fittin' And it ain't fittin' now. It ain't fittin for you to use me an the chilluns to butter up Mr Rhett. No um it aint. It's too soon. If you had only help Mr Rhett after Miss Bonnie died, den maybe he woulda be with you right now. You coulda help him heal. But no'um. You gwine and tell Mr Rhett dat it was he who kilt dat po baby. You kick dat man when he was already down. You was mean and you was cruel!" she said, shaking the silver hairbrush for emphasis.

Scarlett turned her head, her lips turning up into an angry pout, the feelings of guilt painfully gnawing away somewhere at her jaw and under her tongue.

"Have you eva thought dat Mr Rhett spoil dat baby becuzz you ain't neva paid enough attention to her? You didn even want Miss Bonnie. Don you look at me like dat. Ah knows all about it. Ah knows you was thinking of gettin rid of Miss Bonnie befo she waz even boarn."

Scarlett gasped, a sob jumping out of her throat.

"But I didn't. I loved her. She was so pretty and lively and just like me. I loved her, I did, I did! I would do anything to have her back, to give her back to Rhett!"

But Mammy didn't relent. "You cain hide nuthin from me Miss Scarlett. You ain't never pay no mind to yo chilluns cept to shout at dem. Even Miss Suellen is a betta mother than you." And shes a damn betta wife dan you too."

Hot tears pricked at her eyes at Mammy's harsh words. For the second time today, she was very jealous of her less wealthy, less attractive, less charming and less intelligent younger sister. But Mammy was right. For all her flaws, Suellen's children all seemed to rally around her with an easy banter that was filled with warmth and love. And Will seemed happy and content in her sister's presence, despite the fact that it was Careen he had wanted to marry. But Wade and Ella, she sighed. Her children never came to her. Never had a smile for her, they never shared a laugh, never a private joke, if anything, they often turned to Rhett or Prissy for comfort.

All right Mammy, I'll make an effort, I promise. I'll read to them, cook for them, buy them anything they want, if only you'll go with me!

"Dats not what its about Miss Scarlett. You cain't jus say yous gwine do all dem things, you need to show me. An you aint doing dis for me needer. Yous a invessing in yo future, and the chilluns future. You allus talk bout invessin money. Well um dat aint the only kind of invessing you gots to think bout. You think dem chilluns gwine care about the purty things you buy for dem when they gits older? No dey ain't. Dey aint gonna member da clothes, da shoes, da toys, OK, maybe dey will member dem, but in da long run, da most impotant thing to dem youngins is how much good times dey had with dey Ma. Dey aint gots no Pa's, neider of dem, although Mr Rhett was a mighty good father. But he aint here now. And you is dey Ma. Mr Wade is gwine on eleven years old. Dat boy loves you, even tho you aint neva treat him right. Allus shoutin, neva showin him you care, neva a kind word, a pat on the cheek, a kiss at bedtime. It aint too late for you and dat boy. He still young. In two or three years he gwine be a young man. He gwine undastand things much betta, and he gwine know that you jus plain aint a good mother and you aint neva even try. It don matter how much fancy suits you buy for dat boy. He aint gwine care. Whos gwine take care of you when you gits ol? And yessum you is gwine gets ol. Yous gwine need them chillun to looks afta you, you aint gwine have nobody else to do it. An dey sure aint gwine do it if you keeps dis up, keeps treating them bad, lak you don even want dem! Ah knows you aint never love Mr Charles, or Mr Frank. But dem chilluns aint ask for you to buth dem, deys here, and you betta start makin an effort. Da same effort you shoulda made with Miss Bonnie and Mist Rhett!

"But, but, Rhett never let me love Bonnie, he never let me be a mother to her", she whined.

"Don you go blamin Mr Rhett. He spoil dat baby cause that was da only love he was gettin. He warnt gettin no love or concern from you. Just mean words, a cold baid, blaming him for everthing dat went wrong in yo marrige. , dats why he spoil Miss Bonnie."

"You aint gonna look purrty forever. You still mighty purrty now, yo face still smooth, yo figure still nice and you aint got none of dem lines that ladies gits when deys in the fambly way. Needer did yo Ma, even after buffing her babies she aint git no lines on her belly.

Yous almost thurty now. Dats still real young. Dats still young enough to catch a man, but dats not da age you wanna be looking for one. Specailly when you gots two youngins by two diffent men. Specially when you had a real good man and you kept throwin him out like da trash. Ova and ova agin."

You aint eva gonna git no man, not with da way yous been actin"

"I don't want any man, I want Rhett!" The tears flowed freely now.

But not at da rate yous goin. What if Mista Rhett divoss you, yous gwine be jus like Miss India. Alone and dried up with no one to love her. Iz dat whatchu want?

A frightened sob escaped from Scarlett's throat.

Ah's seen you takin a drink too much. You eva see what happens to young ladies who drinks too much brandy?

Scarlett scowled through her tears her face crimson with embarrassment.

Mammy ignored her. "Dey skin gits high yeller, and it gits dry and ugly. Yous gwine look ol befo yo time if you doan quit dat drinking. Scarlett's green eyes widened as she leaned over and grabbed a hand mirror off her dresser. To her relief, her tear faced skin was still magnolia white, dewy smooth, and unlined.

"Yous as vain as eva," Mammy scolded, her hand on her hip.

"And while we're on dat topic. Ah knows how you use ta drink when you was carrying Miss Ella!

"So? Who told you that?" Scarlett said, as she put down the mirror.

" Don't worry about how Ah finds things out."

You jus lucky that chile born normal. She might be scattybrained, she might be fussy, but she aint damage with all the demon alc'hol you was a drinkin."

"Mammy!"

"Don't Mammy me! Ladies who drink when deys in a fambly way have dey babies born ugly and idiot by the time dey is two. Ah aint goed to no fancy school, nor did Ah read it in a medicine book, but Ah knows is the truth. Miss Ella wasn't a purty baby, but she is getting purtier and she is doing well with her lessons. She aint neva gwine be as purty as you or miss Bonnie woulda been, but with her auburn color hair and her hazel eyes, she aint gwine be hungry for beaux. And Ah's been puttin buttermilk on her face and gettin rid o dem freckles, jus like Ah did with you. She mighty good at drawing and coloring, and if you threw that po chile a bone, she would be more dan happy to draw a picture for you like she drew for Miss Sue.

"Ella drew a picture for Sue?"

"Jealous is you? You don wanna put in de effort, but you just wants da rewards. You did da same thing with Mr Rhett. Didn wanna wuk on yo marrige, but still wanted everthing dat Mr Rhett coulda give you. It takes two to make a good marrige and you aint never give dat man a chance."

Mammy continued. "Ah was a young gal once, Miss Scarlett, and look at me now. Ah jus thank da Lord Almighty that Ah gots two good legs, and even tho Ah gits tired easier and my hands gets stiff sometimes, Ah can still use um. And when things go bad, Ah gots Miss Sue and Miss Careen to take good care of me" she purposely added, jutting her chin and pursing her lips.

"But Mammy darling, Scarlett enviously protested, I will always take care of you too! Better than the two of them You know I love you!"

"Hmmmmm" mammy grunted.

"If you loves me, yous gwine take heed to what Ah say. Ah aint gwine be here forever to take care of my lamb."

The old woman shifted her position on the bed, her weight making the mattress sag. Her old eyes bored directly into Scarlett.

'Have you eva consider Miss Scarlett, dat if you give yoself half a chance at being a good ma to dose chillun den maybe you might enjoy it? Ah ain't never had my own chilluns but the love you get when one of yo babies smile at you and tell you dey love you is more preshus dan all the tea in China an all da lumba in Mist Ashley's mill. You and yo sisters, yo Ma and yo aunties were like all my babies. It was hard wuk bringing up the lot of you. You specially. Dere was times when Ah thought the Lord would strike me down for wanting to strangle you when you was a misbehavin. You was not an easy chile Miss Scarlett. Me and yo Ma had a rough time with you. Yo Ma was busy here at Tara, but she allus had time for you and yo sisters. Allus a kind word, allus time to teach you bout da Lord, nurse bee stings, da chicken pox, when yous all had da measlies, wipe tears and bandage cuts. An what she a couldn do, Ah did. Bu you Miss Scarlett, you hand off Mist Wade and Miss Ella to that silly gal Prissy and expec her to be dey ma. Dat aint gwine work no more. You need ta do yo part too.

Miss Ellen had all dat wuk to do and run this place at da same time. And then she had Mist Gerald. She loved yo Pa. He may not have been her fust choice in huzbands, but she was good to him, allus tending to his needs, even in da middle of da day!"

"Mammy!" Scarlett was mortified at the thought of her parents doing, uggghhhh, well she would not think of it, she couldn't.

"Yous old enough to know doze things. Yessum, she did. Whatchu think dey was doin behind close doors sumtimes even in da middle of the day? She was makin her huzband happy, dat's what she was doin. Mr Gerald come home in a sour mood and Miss Ellen wud do her utmost to comfort and sooth him. Yo Ma was fifteen years old when we come up from Savannah. She was a chile too when she fust come. But she learned mighty quick how to be a good wife and mother. Yo Ma wasn allus perfec. She has lots to learn too. Within a year she had give birth to a pretty baby girl with long eyelashes and the purrtiest green eyes you did eva see, an with a naughty streak from da day she fust come.

Scarlett beamed at the compliment to her vanity, conveniently ignoring the part about the naughty streak.

"Dontchu be smilin at me while Ah's talkin to you all serious! Ah ain't sayin this to flatter you Miss Scarlett, Ah just saying it as it is. You was a handful. You was stubborn, allus crying, throwing tantrums to gits yo way, flattering yo Pa for new toys and silk ribbons from Jonesboro. Fightin with Miss Suellen and not sharin like a proper young lady should. You was not an easy lil girl. How do yous think you woulda turn out if you Ma didden uh show you no love and you didn have yo Pa dere neither? You was a difcult lil girl, yes um you was, for all yo perrty eyes and silky hair. Dere neva was a perrtier lil girl after Ah done dress you in yo nicest dress. But a naughty one too, jus like Miss Bonnie.

So don act like yo chilluns is troublesome. Dey is good chilluns. Ah ain't never seen Mist Wade nor Miss Ella eva throw a tantrum like you an Miss Bonnie. Me and yo Ma had a much harder time with you than you ever had with Mr Wade and Miss Ella, so don you come tellin me how its hard ta raise babies!

Miss Suellen gits tired too, she gits annoyed. The chilluns drive her crazy on most days. But she still makes time for dem. Miss Sue ain't all dat diffrent from you. She can be just as selfish. Maybe she ain't smart and pretty as you is. But her chilluns love her. Cause she is dey Ma, and she acts like it. Instead of taking good care of yo chilluns, you was buzy chasin' after Mist Ashley, when he didn' even love you. Oh yes you did! All the time at dat mill, swaying your hips, jiggling yo bossoms, did nothin but make dat man want to take you like a two dollar whore an nothin' else. Don't act coy with me Miss Scarlett. Ah ain't never been mahied, but Ah knows what goes on in gempumums heads an in dey pants when dey see a pretty lady.

Ah aint gwine nowhere until Ah's good n ready.

Deys a new reverend in da chuch an he been a preachin and a lectrin. He says for all niggas to come see him or, if dey cain write him a letta if they eva in trouble, or if any white folkses eva call dem nigger or be mean to dem. Yesum, his name is Reverend Alfred B Bharpton. And he wuking with a negro judge called Mist Jessy James Jakeson. Yes um da two of dem make sure dat all us niggers be treated good.

"But Mammy, I would never call you that! And you know I would never be mean to you!"

"And you better neva neither or I'll write mah letta ter Mist Alfred and Judge Jesse. And you ain't gwine make me go to Charston neither to chase after Mr Rhett."

Ah's learning to read and write. Yessum Ah is. Mist Wade and Miss Ella, dey's been teaching me, an Prissy too. Old Mammy ain't dead yet, nor am Ah blind. My old eyes cain still see and Ah ain't senile yet. Ah ain't too old to learn my letters. Soon Ah will be readin' Miss Ellen's bible that she done left for me even though it's full of funny soundin wurds."

Ah ain't never seen no gempumun, take such good care of chilluns that ain't even his own like Mist Rhett. You eva see another man set such store by his wife that he would treat her youngins as good as his own? Dem chilluns love him, Mr Wade and Miss Ella, yessum, they do. They act like dey Uncle Rhett is dey own Pa. What is you gwine do wit two youngins and no man to take care of you? You think any good man wants to be with a woman who doesn love her own chilluns and who doan wants to give him chilluns?

"But Mammy, I do, I want to give Rhett a baby, more than anything, especially now that our two children are dead, I'll do anything to make it up to him."

"Well, it's a too late ta pologize. You shoulda thot dat befo you gwine an tell Mist Rhett dat you didn want him in yo baid." An dat man so hut bout Miss Bonnie dat he caint even think of another baby now, not with Miss Bonnie still so fresh on his mind. With all how Mist Gerald done loss his mind when he lose Miss Ellen, you shoulda member dat and you shoulda help Mr Rhett befo he done gone crazy like Mist Gerald did. And when he done gone crazy, you shoulda reach out ta him but instead of yous a helpin him, it was Miss Melly dat come an save da day. Hes gwine take a long time befo he ever get ova dem nasty words you done say to him at da lowest an wustest time in his life.

You needs to wuk on yoself befo you even think of gwine afta Mr Rhett. If he wants, he can divoss you, take a new young wife who will be happy to have his babies."

The thought of Rhett getting another woman pregnant brought bile to her throat and Scarlett leaned back on her pillow, exhausted with her emotions, her head hurting from her shed tears.

"Mist Rhett aint young no mo. He aint ol, but he aint dat young. He be running out of pachence with you and yo refuze to grow up and becuming a good wife to him. Dat man jus plain give up, an Ah doan blame him. He's handsome an he mighty rich. And even is he is a scallawag he can still get a decent lady ter mahhy him if he wants. All da young ladies lookin for a good man to take care of dem. Da war done kill all the good gempumums, men like Mist Rhett can have his pick if he wants, Dats gwine leave you an ol made like Miss India if Mist Rhett find a nice lady to take care of him.

"But you're supposed to be on my side!", Scarlett wailed.

"It aint about sides. Mist Rhett, he aint perfec needer, but my sympafy lies wif him, not you. And alls of Lanta seed how dat man loved Miss Bonnie and they sympafize with him an not you. Even when he act mean to dem, deys sorry for him. Even if he is a scallwag. Dey undastand his grief, his hurt, and the fac dat he have to go home to a col wife who don love no one mo dan she love husself. A wife dat caint take da fust step an say she sorry, dat caint try to make things right, a wife dat caint humble husself and admit when she is wrong. You is so blind by your schoolgurl love for Mist Ashely that you aint never even see the good in Mist Rhett.

"But I don't even love Ashley!"He should have told me he never loved me."

"Don you go blaming Mist Ashley needer. Time for you to take responsablities for yo own acshuns. No more blaming everone else."

"Everone loves you Miss Scarlett, they loves you cause you pertty, bright, like a butterfly. Gempmums always flock to you, like bees to honey. But, like Mr Frank and Mr Rhett found out, and like Mist Charles was gwine found out if he lived long enuff, dey see dat you jus like a black widder spidah, you trap um in your web, you bully them and you break dem down. Mist Rhett is a strong man, I aint a neva think you coulda break him, but you managed to do dat too. Yo good looks aint gwine last forever, dere aint nuffing purty about a mahhied woman, shaking her bussoms for a man dat already has a wife.

"But I never, and I don't even want Ashley"

"Doan interrup me! You gots to promise me yous gwine behav, yous gwine make yo Ma , Miss Melly an Miss Bonnie and even yo po daid baby proud. Dey gone, alls of um. Deys looking down at you from heaven and when Ah gits up dere wif da Lord Amighty, Ah's gwine be watchin you too! Yous gonna try to act like a good Ma to yo chilluns, and if Mr Rhett ever comes around to forgiving you, yous gwine be real kind to him. I'm tard Miss Scarlett, I aint a leavin dis here room until you promise.

"Yes Mammy", she replied, the words and the fear of divorce sinking in.

"Now come on, go to baid.' said Mammy, tucking Scarlett in under the sheets as if she was still five years old. You have a big day ahead of you. I spect you to start uhly tomorrow by thinking of da nice things yous gwine plan wif the chilluns. I mean it Miss Scarlett. Remember, dey love you. Miss Ella gwine be easy to wuk on, and Mist Wage gwine take longer, being hes olda and smarta dan Miss Ella, but hes gwine come around too. Goodnight Miss Scarlett"

With that Mammy left the room, the floorboards creaking under her weight. Scarlett closed her eyes for a minute. She felt like her mind was a sponge that had absorbed a bit too much water and wanted to leak all over her bed. She looked at the letter at her bedside table. What could he possibly want? She hadn't given him a passing thought since she had written to him desperately begging for money during the war. She broke the seal of the envelope and began to read the old man's letter, taking note that his handwriting was almost identical to her mother's.

Dear Scarlett**, **

_**"Dear? Since when am I dear to him?" **_

I suppose you were not expecting to hear from me, but as I am getting older**,**

_**"Older?, I would think the old coot would be one hundred by now.**__"_

I think it is high time for me to forgive you

_"__**Excuse me? I am the one who should be doling out forgiveness here!" **_

for your unfortunate Irish blood,

_"__**What?**__" _

and reach out to the first born of my most beloved child Ellen_**. **_There was never a more wonderful child, the kindest, smartest, most selfless girl, most loving girl until she ran off with that Gerald O'Hara, but for now I shall hesitate to speak ill of the dead. Never forget that you are a Robillard my child, and your aristocratic blood more than assuages the inferior strain you have running through your veins_**.**_

**"**_**How dare he insult Pa like that, how dare he insult me? Oh the hateful man."**_

I am very well aware of your marriage to Captain Rhett Butler as my daughters are very familiar with his dear mother. He is a rather scandalous man from what I hear, but at least is from a much respectable and old Charlestonian family. I have been informed of the tragic loss of your dear child and as you must be well aware, there is nothing worse than the thought that you have outlived your offspring. And now for the matter at hand.

To be quite frank with you, your sister Suellen, who from your brief childhood visits, I had always anticipated would turn into a most gracious lady, has destroyed all the efforts that I am sure my Ellen tried to instill in her when she married that two bit cracker farmer who's name I will not mention.

"_**Ooooohhhh, the nerve of him criticizing poor Will like that, Will who has given everything to help us run this place, just wait till I give that old windbag a piece of my mind!" **_

Your other sister has disgraced me by marrying herself to the Catholic church; while I do see the dear child often, and she is quite a refreshing presence to a poor

_**"Poor? Why he's even richer than Rhett is"**_

lonely old man such as myself, I cannot expect her to make a suitable match and therefore there is no hope of any children. This is a big disappointment to me considering that she is the child who physically resembles my dear Ellen the most. Her sweet, frank nature and disposition also reminds me of your beloved mother.

Which brings me to you. In case you are unaware of it, and from the greedy letter

_**"Greedy? We were wearing rags and starving! Cold heartless son of a bitch, I hate you, and I hope you burn in hell" **_

you wrote to me during the war asking for money, I would think you must have thought of it, that it might have occurred to you that your young son, Wade Hampton Hamilton is my only living direct male descendant.

**_Hmmmm, come again?_**

You sister Careen has been telling me about the boy and I am quite pleased that his father was a Hamilton of Atlanta. A somewhat weak, inbred, bloodline, however, a highly respectable one, more than suitable enough for me to leave the bulk of my fortune and estate to the child.

**(Frank's old cash register suddenly went off in her ear**_**.**_**)**_**"CA-CHING CA-CHING CA-CHING"**_

Your sister tells me he is well read, mild mannered and has the intelligence of his father's family. Of course, I am sure we can attribute his yearning for knowledge from our side of the family as well.

I am hoping he is of good health and has inherited the vigor of the Robillards, and not too much of the strain of Irish peasants that may thus lead him down the path of unrighteousness and immorality.

"_**Oh my God, the nerve of that man!"**_

I am aware that you are a strong, resilient and vivacious girl, who dug herself and your family from the ashes of the miserable war

_**No thanks to you, you old miser!**_

and triumphed where others faltered. Once again you managed to succeed where everyone else seems to have failed, myself included, by bringing forth a son into our family. Therefore I expect you to present yourself to me sometime in the very near future so that we can arrange for the boy to be raised in the proper manner befitting for a Robillard.

_**CA-CHING CA-CHING CA-CHING**_

You will become acquainted with the numerous relatives that your poor departed mother so hastily abandoned when she ran off to the backwoods of Georgia, but I shall not dwell on that.

"_**Ummm, you've been dwelling on that since Ma left."**_

I hope to God that the child has not picked up any peasant mannerisms that I am sure your sister's unsuitable children are very well simmering in, of course through no fault of theirs, the poor dears cannot help who their father is nor more that you and your sisters.

_**"Ummm was that another insult?"**_

I hope you have been keeping up with the children's French lessons. You and your sisters spoke the language with your mother when you were very very young, but I suppose you must have forgotten it by now. I hope to God that none of you have picked up that dreadful Irish brogue, it will only interfere with attaining and maintaining a more cultured, civilized accent.

_**"I have a good mind to take Wade to Ireland just to spite him but CA-CHING CA-CHING CA-CHING **__**."**_

It is of utmost importance that my heir learn the French language.

I am looking forward to your letter that will tell me when you are due to arrive. There is enough room for you, your children and husband. I am willing to be generous and if your sister will allow it, the eldest of her poor urchins shall accompany you, your husband and your children so that she may learn something of her family and perhaps a better lifestyle than she will ever get in the country.

**_"Well, I guess Susie will come with us.__"_**

The younger children can follow once they are an appropriate age to leave their mother. As much as I did not approve of Gerald O'Hara, it is to his credit that you and your younger sisters were educated properly and brought up as ladies. Mr O'Hara was eager to improve on his shameful roots

**_"Shameful? God's nightgown!_**"

and as I understand became quite a gentlemen in particular that section of Georgia that he dragged my dearest child to. As you are aware, I am a very wealthy man, and I am more than capable of providing for my daughters and my grandchildren, even though when they might be of inferior blood. I suppose that you will bring your mother's old darkie Clementine with you. Careen has told me that she favors you over your sisters. Remember that slavery is over, I never believed in the institution myself,

_**"Liar, he had more house slaves that we ever did here at Tara!"**_

and I doubt that the poor old woman can tend to young children. I hope you have a younger girl as well.

**_Who is he calling old?_**

Most Sincerely

Pierre Robillard

And with that, she let the letter drop from her hand, trying to remember the distance in miles from Savannah to Charleston and if she packed her slinky silk chemise, the one with the low neckline that always seemed to slip off her shoulders by itself.


End file.
